Written By Drew Canole
“When you release expectations you are free to enjoy things for what they are instead of what you think they should be.” – Mandy Hale
A lot of the disappointments we face in life come because of what we expect from other people. We develop these expectations from how we were raised, cultural beliefs of how people should behave, our desires, our confidence in ourself (and whether or not we expect approval from others), what we see in the media, etc.
When we recognize that our expectations may not be in alignment and probably won’t be met, we can forgo a lot of frustration and suffering. We will have more time and energy to focus on the stuff that really matters.
Letting go of expectations can be difficult. But usually once you recognize what you’re doing and see an expectation for what it is, it becomes easier to release. Try letting go of these following expectations to get started.
It’s time to stop…
#1 Expecting Other People To Agree With You
A lot of us do this subconsciously. When someone disagrees with us on something we believe, it can shock us a little and make us not want to be as open and honest anymore.
You have something to say. What you have to say matters. People don’t need to agree with you. If everyone agreed with what other people said, we would have a halt of new ideas, inspirations, beliefs and innovations.
There has been sometimes where I’ve remembered something someone said to me that I didn’t agree with for years. Then, through raw experience, I would suddenly realize that they were right all that time ago. We are all on a unique journey here on Earth and timing varies greatly from person to person.
Dare to be true to yourself and what you feel and believe. When someone disagrees with you, don’t be discouraged. Realize that we are all unique and that is what makes us beautiful. Someone not agreeing with you doesn’t mean what you had to say was incorrect and, even if it was, you will see it when the timing is right.
Live life the way YOU want to.
#2 Expecting Respect From Other People When You Don’t Respect Yourself
When someone is insecure about who they are they often try to seek approval from other people to make up for it. This is unhealthy for you and won’t bring you any lasting satisfaction or inner strength.
True inner strength will come when you learn to stand tall in your own shoes and hold yourself in high respect. As a child of the Universe, this is something you’ve deserved since the day you were born. None of this “I’m not good enough” nonsense. God doesn’t create mistakes. You were precious and priceless the moment you came into being and that will never change.
Every morning and night look at yourself in the mirror and say, “I love and accept myself completely.”
When you are kind to yourself, you become a better friend, family member and person in general. Your love and respect towards other people will become more genuine because you’ve learned to respect yourself and that reflects in everything you do.
#3 Expecting Other People To Like (Or Approve) Of You
No matter who you are or how awesome you are or how much you try to be a good person, SOMEONE is going to criticize, belittle or hurt you. Most likely you will do this to other people as well (intentionally or not).
Do not forget your own value when this happens. Someone else’s opinion of you DOES NOT affect who you are as a child of the universe! Your worth is not affected because someone thinks ill of you.
It can be SO HARD to stay positive after someone has stomped on you and thrown you out the door. Learn to smile, hold your chin high and MOVE ON.
The ability to let go of the need of approval will bring you more freedom and inner peace than you can possibly imagine.
One of the hardest battles you will fight your entire life will be the battle to be true to yourself. Some people will be uncomfortable and negative because you are different. Most likely they are only suffering from insecurities and are battering down other people to try and make themselves feel better. Recognize this and hold on to your power!
#4 Expecting People To Be Who You Expect Them To Be
Let’s flip to the other side of the table now.
In staying true to yourself, you desire other people to give you the love and respect to do just that. One of the most powerful things you can do for someone else is to give them this in return.
Allow others to be themselves. Sometimes we blind ourselves to who someone really is because we are constantly looking for them to live up to our own expectations of who we think they are. Take off the glasses, release these expectations, and learn to appreciate someone for who they are as a unique, organic and raw individual.
We do not know people as well as we think we do. Our eyes are always clouded by the mirror of our own experiences and understanding. Learn to let go and let people simply be and you will be more likely to receive this in return.
#5 Expecting People To Read Your Mind
There are not a lot of people out there who can read minds. In almost every instance, people will not know how you feel unless you SAY SOMETHING. This is true even of our closest friends and family members!
Learning to communicate more honestly and openly will bring you more fulfillment and happiness in relationships. There have been so many times where I’ve sat frustrated and unsettled for hours because of a need not being met by someone and then I finally decided to say something… and BOOM! They understood what I needed and helped me out and everyone felt better!
If you are unsatisfied at work, wanting a promotion, wanting to do things better but not sure how, TALK ABOUT IT.
If there is someone you really care about but they don’t know it, TELL THEM.
If you are hurting because of something someone said to you, LET THEM KNOW. Maybe they didn’t have a clue how something affects you and they will be more sensitive in the future.
#6 Expecting People To Change
You can’t easily change the people around you, no matter what role you play in their life. Never enter a relationship (of any kind) with the expectation that things will work out because you’re convinced that the other person will eventually change that thing about them you can’t stand. In almost every case, us wanting someone to change only makes them more resistant towards change.
And if they are only changing to make YOU happy, will it really last? Most likely not.
If there are instances where a change needs to happen, lay all the cards on the table and be honest and open. This will ensure the person knows how you feel and give them an understanding as to what they need to do.
Accept people for who they are RIGHT NOW or learn to live without them. Often your acceptance, love and support are the things that will help them grow and develop the most.
#7 Expecting People To Be OK
Everyone is fighting a hard battle. Learn To Be Kind.
Behind every happy face is a person with inner struggles and suffering that are complex and extraordinary.
Yet we live in a world that expects us to be “happy”. People are pressured to put on a good face for the world and even to their close friends. It is rare to find people who are honest about what is really going on and what they really need.
Let’s create a culture where we can look into someone else’s eyes and say, “I am lost. Today is a struggle. I don’t know what I’m doing.” And they will smile and say, “Me too.” And we will be able to support and love each other in a way that wasn’t allowed before.
Make an effort to be kind.
You are in charge of your own happiness. No one else can give it to you or take it away unless you give that power to them. Life is full of experiences that help us learn and grow. Some of them are painful but in the end they are there to bring us closer to who we are meant to be.
Become aware of the expectations you hold for other people AND for yourself. Releasing expectation and attachment and learning to “just be” and appreciate life for what it is can bring you a deeper sense of calm.
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Drew Canole is a Nutrition Specialist, Transformation Specialist and national spokesperson for the benefits of juicing vegetables for health and vitality. He is the founder of Fitlife.TV where he shares “Educational, Inspirational and Entertaining” videos and articles about health, fitness, healing and longevity. Drew Canole’s transformation movement has grown to over 630,000 people, including Celebrities, CEOs, Entrepreneurs, and Development Gurus. He believes first and foremost that a person’s health comes from within and through his “Whydentity“ process, Drew is able to create healthy and lasting change, both physically and mentally.
Disclaimer: The techniques, strategies, and suggestions expressed here are intended to be used for educational purposes only.
The author, Drew Canole, and the associated www.fitlife.tv are not rendering medical advice, nor to diagnose, prescribe, or treat any disease, condition, illness, or injury. It is imperative that before beginning any nutrition or exercise program you receive full medical clearance from a licensed physician.
Drew Canole and Fitlife.tv claim no responsibility to any person or entity for any liability, loss, or damage caused or alleged to be caused directly or indirectly as a result of the use, application, or interpretation of the material presented here.